It's Not Because You're Black, Actually It Is
Racism is still alive, and I think Solange said it best “I'm not really allowed to be mad”. There's so much that happens everyday so damaging to our mental health that as a black woman I literally have to choose what to be mad at and what to let go so that I'm not mad everyday. Don't dare get mad in front of your coworkers they'll just dismiss your behavior as being the angry black woman but I didn't know I could still be labeled an ABW by simply asking for equality.
Yes, this just happened. Earlier in the month we had a staff meeting where we voiced our frustrations to spread out the work load so one person isn't bombarded with what other people are capable of doing. Sounds fair right? Our boss said she would be making some changes to better suit the business. A week or 2 goes pass and we see those changes haven't been made, myself and my coworker are still the only ones on assignment. Now some would say "No they want you on it because you're the best and you should be grateful" Umm yeah NO, so my coworker brings up the issue of the rotating schedule again that was discussed just to be fair. We get sent an official monthly “rotating” schedule that wasn't rotating at all; we were still getting the bulk of the work.
As we're looking at the so called rotating schedule still trying to figure out why it's so hard to get a proper rotation our supervisor comes over to have a talk with us. Now mind you I only brought up the issue in our official meeting where it was supposed to be resolved and never said anything again but I'm still being reprimanded. I guess it's like my uncle Jay said “still nigga” so, here we are speaking with our supervisor. She who does not make our schedule proceeds to tell us to come to her with any grievances because it's starting to look like we're being combative and non compliant. Now that was a huge “hold the fuck up let me stop you right there.” Combative and non-compliant how sis? when I do my work and more that is required of me because black women x job = work twice as hard.
I can't stress this enough that all we asked for was equality and fairness and got called combative and non compliant. Not to mention we offered a solution to the problem at hand that would not only make our job easier but also easier for the person making the schedule. It wasn't hard to fix and they turned it into a possible HR issue. After the sit down we went back to work and the more and more I thought about what was said it made me even more frustrated. After about an hour my coworker came over and said, that was very racist and I agreed. We didn’t do anything wrong. We try so hard to get out of that mindset and believing it's not because your black when in actuality yes it is. I honestly wonder if a non person of color would have asked the same question would they have been viewed as combative or non compliant.
I say all this to say take care of yourself. Love on yourself. Have something else to turn to that fulfills you. So much will happen in his world and we shouldn't have to feel mad all the time although it may get like that at times. Your mental health depends on it so love on you and find a healthy escape.