• Tiffany

What are the benefits of waiting?

We have all heard it before, wait until marriage for relations and intimate activity. We all go through the adolescent stage when it's that one friend that exposes you to the most tempting situations. So what happens when we get older and wiser and we are well aware of what we should be doing, but we still remain rebellious and do what we want anyway? I had been questioning this for a long time, could I actually wait? Not just wait but wait NOW at 25 right in prime of life when it gets interesting and fun. Now of course waiting with no boyfriend would be a walk in the park because you have no choice, sex is absent so you would be considered abstinent {even if you had sex before}. But, if you are in a relationship and waiting then you're choosing to be celibate {even if you had sex before}. Two very powerful times in your life but two very trying times in your life because they both are lacking intimacy. We as women our body is around the clock trying to get us pregnant just by our anatomy and how our menstruation cycle is set up. So imagine suppressing your urges and waiting for a while or until marriage.

I was really interested in the book "The Wait " because I honestly was curious how Megan Good went about this venture with her now husband Devon Franklin. What peaked my interested was how two beautiful people happened to find one-another through waiting. We so easily judge a book/couple by its cover our brains are on auto-sex {we automatically assume since they are together they are having sex} But no not these two film lovers. I swopped books with a friend in exchange for The Wait and might I say this wasn’t an easy read because I had questions J I literally tabbed the book with what I thought might be interesting and as times goes on hopefully I get an answer. It took me some time because I really wanted to understand the concept and really understand what it would really mean to wait.

These are my key pointers from the book to consider that really woke me up about whom I share my intimate space with:

Cloudy judgement doesn’t exists

If you immediately let sexual desire overwhelm your restraint this could bury obvious problems that could potentially sprout back up and wreck everything.

Key Take away: Pay attention to the early signs

You have more time

When you share intimacy with another individual it's almost like petal to metal from that point. We grow attached or think more of a situation when there really isn’t anything there because you had sex too soon to determine what it is to hold on to. The Wait is encouraging you to "quiet the mind, listening to your inner voice, letting go of trying to make things happen, doing other things to distract from the need to have results now" these things are practiced to free up the subconscious and when that’s free your pure genius shows up in its place.

Key take away: Give yourself time to love yourself in order to allow someone else to love you.

Get comfortable with being uncomfortable

When we get comfortable in a relationship and we do the most before marriage such as moving in, moving too fast or thinking of the next logical step before marriage. We have to realize that sometimes these motives could possibly move us away from the end goal which is ultimately marriage. When you are already acting as your partner's wife/husband this could cause she or he to get comfortable in receiving the pre-mature role and not even bother getting married, but ultimately we should strive for the commitment.

Key take away: Don’t get comfortable too quick stay on top of the relationship and ask critical questions early.

From the book you gain clarity of the role you play while dating. It shows you how to conduct yourself according to God promises and leads you into so much more abundance that God has for you by waiting. You gain patience and the ability to authentically love someone without having to compare what they do to your flesh {which is always a temporary fix}. If you are in a relationship a shift is due to determine what is next. If you're single you are single for a reason and I suggest a different approach in the upcoming cuffing season. Remember "if you can find the courage to let a man or women walk away, you find the courage to wait''

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