If the shoe fits...
"Letting go doesn't mean we don't care. Letting go doesn't mean we shut down. Letting go means we stop trying to force outcomes and make people behave. It means we give up resistance to the way things are, for the moment. It means we stop trying to do the impossible--controlling that which we cannot--and instead, focus on what is possible--which usually means taking care of ourselves."
This quote completely explains the fight I had to endure within myself for the last few months. The fight between what your brain is telling you and what your heart knows you need. With every possible moment and event that happens in my life I can't help but compare it to lives of the fabulous characters in Sex and the City. Some of you may remember towards the end of the first SATC movie, Sam Jones experiences difficulties with her relationship with her boyfriend Smith Jerrod. After moving away from NYC to the more mellowed out setting of LA, she experiences moments when she needed to escape whenever she got the chance. And she decided to do so by escaping back to the city that never sleeps.
They say you never stop learning about yourself and your experiences can help you learn along the way. During my recent "experience" I tried to establish a reality in which even my closest friends questioned if I was prepared for. My encounter with a new someone made me have a change of heart when it came to "Sunday Loving". As I spent more and more time in the somewhat new reality I realized I seemed to always want to steer off course. You can describe it as me wanting to have my cake and eat it too. Unfortunately for that certain someone my sweet tooth seemed to over rule this experience till it became non-existent.
In all fairness, it's not considered cheating if you return to what you loved first now is it. This love provided me with settings to create amazing times with friends new and old. Amazing restaurants and venues I can rave about and a job that I can feel inspired to travel to everyday. No my love wasn't with another man, but with the city itself. And I wasn't ready to give up on us just yet.
So here's a PSA for all my readers:
Some of us go shopping and like to splurge on things that may not seem quite our style but we try it on anyway. Sometimes, we even go as far as purchasing that item, thinking hopefully you will feel inspired to wear it one day. All in all even though that item may have fit and seemed comfortable to live in, you just couldn't outfit it with the rest of your wardrobe. Better find that receipt before it's too late. Someone else may be needing that item in their life...
Even though the item will still look it's best on you....
Samantha in the city